Forewarned is forearmed, right? So, if you’re considering separation before the divorce, this short article will prepare you for all issues and problems you can face on this challenging path.
Did you know that the amount of long-term trial separations seems to be increasing according to the recent research carried out by the American Sociological Association? They also concluded that such separations in marriage appear to be a solution for couples that can’t afford a divorce. However, there’s still 20% of couples, whose trial separation ended up in reconciliation.
So, obviously, such legal splitting up before the divorce has some positive sides as well as drawbacks. And whether your couple benefit or lose while going through this challenging experience, completely depends on you two and your desire to work on it, outline some basic rules of separation in your marriage and stick to them.
But either way, you’ll definitely have to experience several inevitable pros and cons of the trial separation. That’s why we decided to make this list of pluses and minuses to get you ready for all the possible consequences:
Pros of Separation
•A Chance to Save the Marriage
Obviously, this point is the number 1 in our list as a trial separation often appears to be the only chance to save the marriage. It’s an awesome opportunity to taste this life without your partner, feel the freedom (or, maybe, the loneliness), see everything from a different perspective, reconsider your decisions, cool off, work through negative emotions, and conclude if you really miss this person and if your life is better without them.
In case you really consider saving your family by means of such temporary split-up, make sure to set up clear rules of separation in marriage to avoid even more problems and misunderstanding.
For some couples, a separation before the divorce is the way to take time for regulation of different money issues and stabilizing their financial situation. For example, one partner can still receive insurance coverage from other partner’s company, and filing taxes as a married couple is more beneficial.
•Avoiding Loud Arguments
Another bonus of a trial separation is peace and silence you were dreaming about when coming through those never-ending arguments. You won’t see each other daily, and the desire to fight will be much less.
•Time for Agreements
Even if you already know for sure that your separation’s gonna end in divorce, there are some benefits for your couple too: you take time to work out agreements on how to manage childcare, divide property and income, cover all the expenses.
•Religion & Legal Separation
Since some religions don’t recognize or forbid divorce and even can excommunicate the one who pursues a divorce or remarry, religious couples are put in a more difficult and challenging situation. Thus, a trial separation really is a solution as it will allow the couple to live apart, have independent lives, religious acceptance, and still a chance to reunite.
Cons of Separation
Just as well as separation can help a couple to reunite and save the marriage, it can also lead to lack of communication, exacerbate misunderstanding, and widening the gap between the spouses. Eventually, it becomes impossible to discuss essential issues regarding the family life, and work out the problems, so the likelihood of reconciliation gets much lower.
Unfortunately, money benefits go along with money problems when it comes to separation before divorce. You can face such financial issues as the inability to get insurance coverage once legal separation is finalized. Also, if you have a joint account, both spouses have access to it during the trial separation, as well as are liable for all debts (yes, your partner can buy a car during the trial separation, and you two will share that debt).
During the legal separation period, until the moment of formal divorce, you cannot get married again. So, if you’re planning to remarry soon with your new partner, a trial separation is an obvious minus that can slow down all your plans for the future.
No doubt, if you have kids, your separation will strongly affect them. Beginning from the impossibility to explain why the separation must be done, and ending with the lack of both parents’ attention and participation in their upbringing.
If a separation before a divorce will be a stumbling block or a lifeline in your marriage is completely up to you two, so think over these pros and cons once again and listen to your heart.
Remember that every separation experience is unique and can’t be the same as your neighbor’s or friend’s one. So, whether a divorce inevitable or not, build your own path with your partner, make sure that you do all possible to manage the situation, solve it without gossips and conflicts, and find the way of least disruption.